Meeting the Participants

This encouragement motivated me to apply to a well-regarded local Gestalt institute. After an introductory online interview, I joined a group of 20 unfamiliar faces. I was informed that I would be one of the few men in a predominantly female cohort, which proved accurate with only three men, including myself, among the seventeen women.

The participants varied in age from their mid-twenties to mid-fifties, and they hailed from diverse professions rather than psychology. Most were there to embark on a journey of self-discovery, a goal I shared. Interestingly, many had prior experiences with therapists, suggesting their participation was driven more by personal need than a desire to become therapists themselves, a sentiment I also relate to.

I noticed that many attendees were quite sensitive and emotionally expressive, contrasting with my more composed demeanor. I tend to approach situations logically, often suppressing my emotions, which may be a defense mechanism.

We gathered in a circle, facing three therapists who introduced themselves and began explaining the principles of Gestalt therapy.

Section 1.1: Understanding Gestalt Therapy

Gestalt therapy emphasizes a focus on the present, helping clients gain clarity on their current experiences and feelings rather than being bogged down by past events. This focus on the "here and now" is a fundamental aspect of the approach. Therapists guide clients back to the present when they drift into past grievances or future anxieties.

For those unfamiliar with Gestalt therapy, a humorous definition I heard was: "It's a type of therapy where everyone ends up in tears."

This seemed accurate as, during our sessions, the first three individuals who were interviewed by the therapists all shed tears.

Subsection 1.1.1: My Impression of the Process

The interviewing process often began with therapists asking open-ended questions like, "Tell me about yourself," which frequently led to discussions about childhood and familial relationships. The therapists actively listened, reflecting on the interviewees' emotions and working to address their emotional complexities while assessing their current states.

The authenticity of the therapy was striking, and it seemed to be beneficial for the participants, as evidenced by their expressions of relief and newfound lightness.

Section 1.2: My Decision to Withdraw

Now, let’s discuss my decision to step away from the program. Despite the evident benefits for others, I found the interview process to be both tedious and draining. I realize this may sound dismissive, but it was my genuine experience.

I struggled to endure sessions where individuals were overly emotional, spending extensive time recounting past experiences. It felt overwhelming.

Additionally, I questioned the methodology. I believed that delving into past relationships might sidestep the real issues at hand. During feedback sessions, I voiced my concern:

"It seems unnecessary to dig into past relationships when the real problems are in the 'here and now.' Gestalt therapy emphasizes the present moment, and I argue that there are no issues when we focus on the present."

The therapist replied that my interpretation of "here and now" did not align with Gestalt principles.

While I didn't dislike everything about the program—interacting with the group was a highlight for me—I ultimately couldn't reconcile my discomfort with the therapy itself. I cherished the connections I made and how they fostered a sense of belonging, which is why I felt regret in leaving the group.