Chapter 1: Understanding Happiness

The quest for happiness often leads us down various paths, yet many still find themselves searching without success. What truly brings joy? Is it wealth, travel, family, or perhaps something as simple as chocolate? The reality is, we often don’t know what genuinely makes us happy until we experience it. Therefore, instead of focusing on what might make us happy, we should consider an alternative question: What brings unhappiness into our lives?

This shift in perspective can help us identify at least ten aspects we dislike about our current situation. Here are a few examples:

• I dislike my job.
• I am not fond of my living situation.
• My car is not to my liking.
• Some friendships are unsatisfying.
• I am unhappy with my weight.
• I don’t like my wardrobe.

With this list in hand, what do we do next?

Let’s categorize these into two distinct lists:

1. Things I Can Change
2. Things I Cannot Change

For instance:

Things I Can Change

• I dislike my job.
• I am not happy with some of my friendships.
• I want to improve my weight.
• I am not satisfied with my clothing.

Things I Cannot Change

• I am unhappy with my living situation.
• I don’t like my car.

Now, it’s time to prioritize these items by assigning a negative value from -1 to -5, based on their importance:

Things I Can Change

• I dislike my job = -5
• I am not happy with some friends = -2
• I want to improve my weight = -4
• I am not satisfied with my clothing = -2

Things I Cannot Change

• I am unhappy with my living situation = -3
• I don’t like my car = -2

Next, let’s create a list of positives, ranking each from +1 to +5:

Things I Like

• I enjoy good holidays = +3
• I am well compensated = +4
• I have enjoyable hobbies = +4
• I live near the mountains = +2
• I have a supportive family = +5
• I consider myself creative = +3

Now, calculate the initial happiness score by summing the positives and subtracting the negatives. For example: Score = 21 - 16 = 5. Although this score isn’t impressive, it is a step in the right direction.

Now comes the exciting part: we return to the first list and begin implementing changes. Here’s how I would approach it, from easiest to most challenging:

Action Plan

• Distance myself from negative friendships = +2
• Update my wardrobe = +1
• Address my weight concerns with dietary changes and exercise = +2
• Start job hunting = +2

Next, let’s explore the second list, which we initially thought was unchangeable:

Unchangeable Aspects

• I am unhappy with my living situation = -3
• I don’t like my car = -2

To improve your living space, consider adding personal touches to make it more enjoyable. Alternatively, you could start saving for a move, as the anticipation can create a sense of hope and purpose. The result could be a +1 in your happiness score.

For your car, focus on maintenance and cleanliness. Change your perspective; see it as a means of transportation rather than a status symbol. This shift can also yield a +1.

Revised Happiness Score

New score = 21 - 16 + 9 = 14.

Remarkably, simple adjustments and a more positive mindset can elevate your happiness score significantly. The burdensome negatives are now replaced with manageable challenges, leading to improved mood and reduced stress.

Before pursuing lofty dreams, take a moment to evaluate your current situation. With a bit of effort, you might find it’s not as daunting as it seems.

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The first video, "Find True Happiness in Life with These 5 Proven Tips," provides actionable strategies to help you discover genuine happiness.

The second video, "You Don't Find Happiness, You Create It" by Katarina Blom at TEDxGöteborg, emphasizes the importance of taking control of your happiness rather than waiting for it to find you.