Chapter 1: Reflections on Youth

At 18, I was a bit like Icarus, soaring too close to the sun, learning the hard way. My biggest lessons came from my own shortcomings and failures. If I could travel back in time and share ten key lessons with my younger self, I doubt it would have made a difference. Listening was never my strong point, especially at that age. But perhaps by sharing these insights now, I can reach someone else who may benefit from them.

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“Be kinder to your parents.”

I risk sounding ungrateful, but my parents aren’t flawless, and we often clashed. Our family dynamic is far from perfect, yet they are genuinely wonderful people. As I grow older, my appreciation for them deepens. Almost losing my dad during the pandemic served as a wake-up call, highlighting the fleeting nature of time. Since then, I’ve worked to strengthen our bond.

“No one will ‘fix you’.”

If I could, I would shout this from the rooftops. My younger years were marked by significant depression (which contributed to my frustrations with my parents). I mistakenly believed that others could solve my problems. It was only when I embraced radical responsibility for my life that I began to see improvement.

“Beware of chasing dreams without a plan.”

I dove headfirst into my aspiration of becoming a Jiu-Jitsu athlete, but I eventually realized that while competing was exhilarating, it provided only transient satisfaction. Although I still love Jiu-Jitsu, I now pursue various interests, particularly writing, which has been transformative.

“You’re smarter than you realize.”

My reluctance to explore anything beyond combat sports stemmed from my belief that I lacked intelligence. Undiagnosed ADHD until age 22 made school a challenge, and I often felt inadequate. However, my commitment to reading and learning revealed that while I may not be a genius, I possess more intellect than I initially thought.

“Consider the long-term to alleviate short-term worries.”

I used to feel overwhelmed by anxiety surrounding social events, responsibilities, and competitions. Over time, I learned to zoom out and see the broader picture. Now, when I compete in Jiu-Jitsu, I find peace in the understanding that these moments are fleeting, allowing me to enjoy them fully.

“Break free from instant gratification.”

Growing up in the digital age, I often sought quick pleasure, which led to deeper insecurities. Although I became an athlete and improved my physical health, I still grappled with anxiety and lacked coping mechanisms. Learning to embrace delayed gratification has since cultivated mindfulness in my life.

“Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely.”

I once viewed solitude as a sign of failure or unpopularity. However, I’ve come to cherish my alone time as a sacred space for self-improvement and achieving my goals. I now appreciate it for the clarity and focus it brings to my pursuits.

“Hard work doesn’t equate to coolness.”

My weeks often involve 60 hours dedicated to training and writing. Although I once wore my workload like a badge of honor, I’ve realized that burnout isn’t admirable. It’s essential to prioritize optimal performance over sheer hours spent.

“You will experience loss.”

Breakups and the loss of friendships have always caused me anxiety. Instead of avoiding these situations, I’ve learned that confronting the end of certain relationships is vital for personal peace and growth. Understanding that loss is a part of life helps in recognizing who truly matters.

“Challenge your mind just as you do your body.”

Since starting wrestling at age 12, I’ve loved pushing my physical limits. Yet, I recently discovered that mental challenges can provide similar fulfillment. Engaging in activities like writing, reading, or playing music can lead to a state of “flow,” where nothing else matters. Strive to develop both your body and mind for holistic growth.

For a comprehensive guide on how I’ve transformed my life from a state of deep depression during my teenage years, feel free to download my free ebook here.

Chapter 2: Insights Through Video

In this brutally honest reflection, I share the advice I wish I could give my younger self, emphasizing personal growth and responsibility.

Join me as I delve into the brutally honest advice I’d offer to my younger self, focusing on lessons learned through life’s challenges.