Chapter 1: The Dynamics of Giving

Why do people tend to give excessively? What are they trying to secure? Why do they knowingly disrupt their own balance? Despite knowing they may not receive in return, why do they persist? Is it truly possible to give without expectations? What are their ultimate goals when they give?

Individuals who are overly generous towards their children, spouses, friends, or loved ones often leave others feeling indebted, even if they believe their giving is selfless. Subconsciously, they harbor expectations. They typically give but struggle to receive, leading to unresolved emotional debts.

"You wouldn't do this to me after all I've done for you, would you?"

"I sacrificed so much for you; you can't just abandon me."

"I endured hardships to educate you; now you've embarrassed me."

"I raised you without eating or drinking; you’ll care for me when I’m old..."

You may have encountered similar statements. Some give excessively under the guise of selfless kindness, even against the recipient's wishes, accumulating emotional debts over time. They invest in their relationships much like a loan, hoping for future returns.

The person receiving these sacrifices may feel compelled to compromise their own life and wellbeing to repay the perceived debts. Some might feel crushed under the burden of these expectations for years, convinced they can never repay what they owe. This feeling of indebtedness often leads to economic difficulties as well. Those who feel indebted to their parents or family may find themselves also feeling obligated to others in their lives, whether that be banks, friends, or anyone else, thus perpetuating the cycle of indebtedness.

How long can someone stand firm when their feet aren't planted on solid ground, and their limbs are reaching out in desperation? In relationships, the party that gives too much eventually loses their balance, leading to various issues.

Maintaining a balance of giving and receiving is crucial in all relationships. When one side gives excessively without receiving, feelings of resentment, disappointment, and anger can build up. Over time, this can lead to conflicts. When the giver's expectations aren't met, tensions continue to rise.

When an imbalance exists, life’s warning systems alert us to restore equilibrium. People undergo various experiences until they achieve this balance. If they fail to recognize these patterns and instead continue to complain and blame others, they only amplify their grievances, creating a cycle of problems.

The inability to receive is a challenge that one must confront. Have you ever encountered someone who struggles to give because they feel they can't receive? It's essential to explore why they can't receive and where the barriers lie. What does receiving mean to them? Why have they stopped accepting?

Often, such individuals struggle to take in even basic necessities like air, water, or sensory information. As they begin to repair their blocked channels for receiving, balanced exchanges with others will start to emerge.

Both givers and receivers are interconnected. The one who gives excessively often cannot receive, and vice versa. They are drawn together to restore balance. Giving can be uplifting, and those who give excessively typically enjoy this feeling. However, they inadvertently hinder the other person's ability to experience that same joy. It's vital to create space for the other to give in return.

For someone who struggles to receive, learning to accept must begin with small steps. They need to learn to ask for what they need, accept help, listen, receive love, drink water, breathe, and accept compliments.

In the grand system of life, excessive givers find their channels for receiving closed off, leading to their inability to give in return. This is akin to turning off a tap; thus, they are compelled to learn to receive. As they learn to accept, they open themselves up to the flow of giving and receiving, establishing a balanced exchange. Naturally, this learning process varies from person to person, and failure to learn can lead to repetitive cycles.

When we consistently blame others for what happens in our lives and fail to examine our own contributions, we become incapable of finding solutions. The experiences we encounter often point to the areas within ourselves that require attention. As we undergo internal transformations, we begin to notice changes in our external world.

Chapter 2: The Power of Self-Value

A person who dedicates time to themselves, who loves and values themselves, shines brightly and attracts others who wish to benefit from their light. They do not feel obligated to give to others or diminish themselves. They are not afraid of loss. Their communication is rooted in personal strength, not in concessions or violations.

Conversely, those who perceive themselves as worthless or undeserving of love often hide their true selves or seek approval through various means.

Some conceal their wounds, while others display them openly. For some, eliciting sympathy brings comfort. For those who seek to be seen, the need for validation may override other essential needs.

One can even find love for the unseen, the unheard, or the misunderstood. When someone struggles to open up to themselves, how can they be fully open to others? A person who avoids self-discovery will also keep others at a distance. However, when one connects with their true self, they embrace the unity between their inner and outer worlds.

Our brains are wired to first separate and then connect. Thus, we analyze ourselves and our surroundings, creating categories. However, when we start to view ourselves from a place of love, these separations lead to a sense of wholeness. Everything is connected to us and offers insights. When we embrace what is presented with love, our awareness expands. At that moment, we realize that receiving and giving are one and the same. The giver and receiver are essentially the same being. The pathway within oneself opens, and the connections we form bring joy and satisfaction.

Your feedback and comments are greatly appreciated! Thank you for reading this far.

This video explores the concept of emotional balance and how giving can sometimes hinder our personal growth and relationships.

In this video, we delve deeper into the dynamics of giving and receiving, offering insights and strategies to foster healthier relationships.