Chapter 1: A Difficult Decision

Dear BFF,

It's challenging to express this without sounding harsh, but your presence in my life has become detrimental to my well-being. I've realized that my life has improved in your absence, and I’m not prepared to meet up just yet—perhaps I never will be.

This is my current reality, despite you not bothering to inquire. I’ve come to understand that part of self-love involves letting go of relationships that no longer serve me.

The anxiety I felt after our last interaction was overwhelming. It was as if my body was reacting to the distress of being around you. I sensed dishonesty, which led me to withdraw and prioritize my own needs. Deep down, I often felt that you disliked seeing me succeed.

For years, I ignored my instincts and the unhealthy dynamics between us. The worse you treated me, the more I tried to prove my loyalty. I gave endlessly, showing up consistently, but when I needed support, you seemed too preoccupied to check in on me.

The moment when my father faced his breakdown was particularly telling. While the police were at our home, you seemed more intrigued by the drama than concerned for my family and me. You even had the audacity to ask if my dad had been violent. Seriously? You've known my family for three decades.

Your negative energy left me questioning whether saying yes to your requests would ever be enough for you.

When I had to seek a restraining order against a neighbor, you never once checked on my well-being or how court went. Instead, I found myself rushing to see you and your newborn. It was easier to comfort you than to address my own pain. Holding your baby was a much-needed distraction, but I failed to recognize how much I needed a friend at that moment.

Do you recall the time I borrowed your car for a camping trip with my family? I was so thankful that I immediately cleaned your car and returned it in better shape than when I received it. Yet, to my dismay, I discovered a significant crack in my windshield after you drove it. Despite returning it with a full tank and spotless, I was left to handle the expensive repairs alone.

Why was it acceptable for you to brush this off and leave me with the consequences?

Perhaps I tolerated too much due to our long history together. I now see that our friendship had become one-sided.

As your second child approaches, I feel torn. I want to be there for you, but I can't confidently say I will be. I'm focused on my own struggles, and it’s a tough fight. I’ve realized that I’m not ready to pretend that everything is okay between us when it’s not. I’m not sure if we can mend what’s broken, and I’m fatigued from trying to justify our friendship.

My feelings for you are genuine, but logic tells me that something isn’t right, and it feels like you don’t care.

I wish you would care.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to let go of this friendship for my own sake. I want the best for both of us, even if it means parting ways.

With nothing but love for you,

Your Exhausted and Codependent Friend

Addendum: I penned this letter four years ago, and I’m still shocked by the levels of self-doubt and dependency I exhibited. A lot has transpired since then, and this friendship has ended. I can now understand why; I recognized the toxicity years ago but kept returning to it. I’m finally breaking free from this harmful cycle.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I appreciate you all. 💖

The video titled "An Open Letter to Miley's 'Best Friend' Lesley | Akilah Obviously" delves into the theme of friendship and the complexities of navigating personal relationships. The video echoes the sentiments of recognizing one's worth and the importance of setting boundaries in friendships.