Chapter 1: The Body’s Secrets

In my perception, my body feels foreign.

I concentrate on the delicate lines that etch around my eyes,

rather than the discomfort residing in my abdomen.

I apply creams to my softening skin,

avoiding the investigation of the misalignment on my left side,

as it folds in on itself,

creating a twisty appearance.

I ponder the enigma of my cells,

formed from concealed traumas,

including familial and generational cancer,

embedded in cellular memories.

I opt for denial,

as it appears the healthcare system prioritizes

the interests of pharmaceutical companies

and corporate greed,

over the true essence of -mind-body-spirit-

and our holistic health.

I find myself balancing on the precipice

of reality and my aspirations,

questioning which side will prevail.

Thus, I remain stagnant,

frozen by uncertainty.

My inner child remembers

the insidious nature of cancer,

which claimed my Nona and Grandma,

and nearly took my mother.

As I approach the age deemed significant by history,

I grapple with these irrational fears.

I strive to release them,

as they are ingrained beliefs stemming from

a young girl's trauma.

Body, please don’t be a stranger;

be a guiding light,

illuminating the corrupted thought patterns

and beliefs that linger,

quietly nestled within the depths of my tissues.

I yearn to uncover your truths,

if only I could bear the weight

of the revelations about you, me, and us.

Will my body betray me?

Will I leave my son to navigate life

without a mother?

These anxieties haunt me,

unaccompanied by a diagnosis,

merely a collection of random fears

I diligently attempt to disarm.

Perhaps I inherit some of these fears

from the matriarchs of my lineage,

an unwelcome and unholy legacy.

May these fears hold no sway

over my organs,

where only purity and innocence

can bridge the divide

between my essence and my body.

All I ask is this:

Body, don’t remain a stranger.

This poem reflects on the impact of cancer across generations within a family. It delves into the anxieties passed from mother to daughter, father to son, and highlights how the inadequacies of our healthcare system breed distrust. Rest assured, I’m managing— or as well as one can while aging in this human form.

© 2024 A. N. Tipton

Chapter 2: Breaking the Cycle

This lyric video of "Don't Be a Stranger" by Ward Thomas (feat. Cam) portrays themes of connection and the importance of acknowledging our fears.

In "Faded With A Stranger" by Chris Webby, we dive into the feelings of detachment and the struggle to find one's identity amidst generational challenges.