Exploring Labels and Judgments in Human Connections
Written on
Understanding Labels and Their Impact
In our society, there's a tendency to categorize one another. We often find ourselves fitting individuals into predefined boxes.
Photo credit: Shutterstock
By Shaun Emerson via Men Living
Recently, I delved into The Every by Dave Eggers, a thought-provoking novel that portrays a monopolistic tech giant's influence over humanity and a woman's quest to dismantle it. The story introduces two intriguing apps: Friendy and SumNum. Friendy acts as a "lie detector," assessing honesty in relationships and assigning a numerical value to the quality of friendship. The narrative emphasizes that meaningful friendships lead to longer, healthier lives, underscoring the importance of quality over quantity with a compelling slogan displayed on the screen.
SumNum takes it further, aggregating every facet of an individual's life into a single score—ranging from academic performance and behavioral issues to criminal records and personal interactions. This "Shame Aggregate" encompasses everything from purchasing behaviors to health assessments, raising concerns about the implications of reducing a person's essence to a mere number.
This representation of human value is unsettling.
During a recent lunch with a friend and someone I was eager to connect with, the latter inquired why I wanted to meet him. I mentioned my friend's positive portrayal of him. However, an hour into our conversation, he asked if he was meeting my expectations and requested a satisfaction rating on a scale from 1 to 10.
This question caught me off guard, making me uncomfortable. My discomfort was palpable—I shifted in my seat, crossed my arms, and expressed my surprise with an audible "wow." It was jarring to think about evaluating someone after just an hour, especially in their presence. Yet, we often engage in such evaluations subconsciously.
Although we may not explicitly rate individuals numerically, we frequently label each other—think about personality tests like the Enneagram. Are we conditioned to categorize others to provide context? But does a "6" mean the same to everyone? That’s debatable.
Consider participating in a MenLiving Full House meeting, where you might encounter 10 to 20 men online. Do you find yourself making snap judgments based on appearances or communication styles? Such evaluations can inhibit meaningful interactions and connections. I know they've affected me.
Returning to lunch, I communicated to my new acquaintance that while I appreciated his candor, the notion of grading him after just an hour was unappealing. Despite this moment lingering in the air, our subsequent conversation was open, profound, and enjoyable. I would rate it a solid 7.
What are your thoughts?
In this engaging video, "Numbers Song Let's Count 1-10 New Version," children learn to count while being introduced to the concept of numbers and their significance.
This fun video, "The Big Numbers Song," helps children understand the importance of numbers through a catchy and interactive format.
Further Readings from The Good Men Project
How White Male Privilege Leads to Fragility and Violence
A discussion on the relationship between white masculinity and societal violence.
What’s Love Got to Do With All of This?
An exploration of love and its complexities in modern relationships.
Healing Male Trauma
Insights from Frank Blaney, who has supported countless young men in overcoming trauma.
This article was initially published on MenLiving and The Good Men Project.
About Men Living
MenLiving is a non-profit organization dedicated to enhancing men's lives through community building. We create spaces for men to connect, support one another, and foster friendships. Through a diverse range of virtual and in-person activities, we cultivate relationships vital for well-being and longevity.