Confronting My Fears (Part One)

I have previously discussed the necessity of addressing inadequate supervision, which can impact a person's entire career—something I’ve felt for the last twenty years. When a supervisor suggested I should leave my field, despite my graduate degree, and implied that elevated job titles might be unattainable due to a perceived lack of skills, that experience left a lasting impression. The echoes of that conversation still resurface unexpectedly.

For example, this resurfacing occurred again in 2022, despite that one-on-one meeting happening back in 2003! I have since demonstrated my value within my field, yet recently, I've struggled during the interview process. A lingering doubt now clouds my judgment when considering job listings. I hear that supervisor's voice in my mind, particularly when I encounter skills I want to acquire but haven’t yet mastered. This negative inner dialogue often dissuades me from applying for positions that would otherwise be ideal matches for me at this stage in my career.

At present, my internal criticisms drown out the encouraging voices I keep in my head. It’s essential for me to amplify those positive influences while tuning out the negative ones that hinder my progress.

Confronting My Fears (Part Two)

My last two positions, following my time in higher education, have been in a different industry. Honestly, I feel a bit out of practice. I can’t help but wonder how much I truly understand about today’s college students—especially considering the significant changes brought on by the pandemic, which didn’t affect my own life in the same way.

It seems as though the field I once navigated with confidence has changed direction entirely, leaving me uncertain about how to re-engage with student development and engagement in this new landscape. Although I could seek advice from friends and former colleagues, that wouldn’t compensate for my lack of recent hands-on experience.

Yet, despite this being largely mental, the fear feels tangible enough to influence my actions. Acknowledging it is crucial, even if the fear doesn’t reflect reality.

Confronting My Fears (Part Three)

Many of my friends in the higher education sector, whom I've known for over a decade, have advanced in their careers, achieving titles like Dean, Director, and Vice President. I learned long ago not to compare my career path with theirs, as it often leads to feelings of jealousy rather than joy for their achievements. The fact that I left my last higher education role as a Director speaks volumes about my leadership capabilities. Additionally, losing that position due to a college closure, rather than poor performance, underscores the respect I still hold in the field.

However, I recognize that I don't aspire to a senior leadership role such as Vice President. My passion has always been in direct service, which allows me to highlight my strengths. I understand that the most senior positions may not align with my skills, no matter how much I might try to adapt.

In recent years, I’ve been told I was overqualified for several jobs where I was a finalist. Previously, I focused on affirming that I was indeed suitable for those roles. Perhaps I should allow myself the opportunity to grow into positions that may not perfectly align with my current skill set. While I may not seek the highest leadership roles, I shouldn’t dismiss the idea of applying for assistant dean or vice president positions altogether.

I need to recognize that I am qualified for the roles I have applied for and also believe that I can step into jobs that challenge me just beyond my current capabilities.

Finding Solutions to My Fears

I am learning that I need to anticipate these internal narratives and articulate my goals more frequently. At present, my goals are somewhat unclear, but I am moving beyond the frustration of being labeled as overqualified. I refuse to let a two-decade-old conversation dictate my career trajectory or focus on my blind spots rather than my growth areas.

I must remind myself: I am stronger than my fears!

I plan to explore these aspects in the upcoming weeks. While I don’t have immediate solutions, I'm grateful to those who have tackled similar issues, and I will seek their advice moving forward.

Being transparent about these challenges can be daunting, especially since I share these writings on my website and social media. I know employers have shown interest in my writing, which adds to the pressure.

However, facing these issues becomes less intimidating when I embrace the discomfort and receive feedback that others share similar feelings. So let’s embark on this journey together and strive to rise above our fears!